Thought Habits

My ex relationship had a borderline personality disorder and was abusive.  All who know and love me have heard me tell many stories about my abusive marriage.  My scars have been shown.  I have been adorned with lamentations… “How did you do it?” … “I don’t know how you still function and are healthy?” … “You poor thing.  She was so cruel.”

I used to re-read all of ex relationship's texts.  I read them in a state of disbelief.   I hurt each time I read it.   I forwarded them to others.  I told my friends about them.   They were the weekly soap opera of entertainment for my soul circle.  Why?  What was the purpose?  Why do this to myself?

When I answered this question, I said that I needed social support.   “It is healthy for me to talk about this.  Wow, isn’t it amazing that she still is this crazy… that she still spends so much time and energy trying to tear me down after 5 years? Can you believe this?”

But when I got real with myself, and I had moments of Grace, I realized that the better question was “Why do I keep the story going?”

Why?  I wanted to continue the story of being a victim.  I saw myself as damaged.   I was the broken-winged bird.    

And, with these thoughts I manifested so many experiences to remind me that I was broken.   I found a healer to nurture me back to health with soups and candles.  I sought friendships from those who wanted to steer me and ‘take care’ of me.   And, they did.   I enjoyed the best soups.   I had so many loving friends give wonderful care to me.   I was nurtured. 

My reward: I got to continue to be miserable.  Nurtured, well-loved, and miserable.   Because at the end of the day, 'victim' thinking is not empowering - it is miserable. 

Our thoughts create our experiences.   We manifest the mirror of our self concept.   We become our self talk and our self story. 

Our beliefs reflect back to us again and again and again as experiences and relationships until we know that we are creating what we see and what we experience.  We have to learn this lesson.   The only way to learn the lesson is through trial and error and trial again.  

The cycle is a closed loop.   It reinforces itself.   You have a belief.   You attract experiences based on this belief.   The belief is reinforced.   Our belief becomes truth and truth is reinforced over and over again.  

Until it doesn’t.    Until one day you wake up and see your own image.   You see your reflection.  

Seeing your own image is enlightenment. 

Enlightenment is not eternal bliss.  It is not euphoria.  It is not a place out-of-time or ever-after.   It is not a place outside of this world or outside of you.  It exists right now and within you.  It exists as an “aha,” or “oh, that’s what I have been believing?” moment.  It is the knowing that that you are the thinker and that your world will be what you believe it to be. 

The real truth?  There is a tiny rope holding your leg.   It has been there since you were young.   It is twined in the fabric of your beliefs and your experiences.   But, you are an elephant.   And, at any moment, you can choose to simply move… to break free of this bond.   This rope cannot hold your strength if you choose to snap the bond.  

You are what you believe yourself to be.   You are your thought habits.   Change your thought habits and change your life! 

Practice:

Presence is so important.   When you are present, you are not a victim to your story.   You are creating your experiences in the endless potential of “the now.”

The best tool for presence is your breath. 

Therefore, today the practice will focus on breath work and identifying a victim belief that you hold. 

Time: 15 minutes  

• In a moment (after reading this), close your eyes.
• Breathe in and out for 5 minutes (focus on keeping your inhale and exhale the same count)
• Picture yourself in the mirror.   Do not analyze or critique yourself.   The image in the mirror is your soul image and is perfect.   You are going to ask your soul image three questions.   The soul image ALWAYS knows the answers to your questions. 
• Pause.  Breathe in.   Breathe out.  Ask your first question: “What is a belief I hold about myself that is holding me back?” Wait on the answer.  It will usually come quickly and can be recognized by your immediate thoughts.  
• Next question: “How is this belief serving me?”  Wait on the answer. 
• FInal question: “Why do I keep it?”  Wait on the answer.
• Breathe in and out for 5 minutes (focusing on keeping your inhale and exhale the same)
• Write about what you experienced and how you could apply a new practice/habit in your life supporting a more empowering belief about yourself (to replace the old belief).  

Love to all.  Namaste.

Ryan

Dr. Ryan Pride is the owner of the Moksha Institute, a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.   A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Institute applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.  

For more information, please go to: www.mokshainstitute.com