A Dumb Moment - of Perfect Clarity

Recently, I was reading a blog post by a spiritual writer that I follow, and he posed this question, which I thought to be silly – and at the same time, informing.   He asked: “What is the distance between yourself and your screen?”  I answered, “Hmm.   About 1 foot.”   He then asked:  “What is the distance between yourself and that thought?”  I paused.   What kind of ridiculous question was that?  I paused.   I thought about it.  I thought about it.   I thought about it some more.   What?  What the hell is he asking?  But, there was a moment in between, where I sat there with a dumb look on my face in some strange space of nothingness.   He then wrote: “Congratulations.   You just experienced a millisecond of awareness – the space between thought forms.”

My mind runs like the commentators of Mystery Science Theater.    It doesn’t stop.   It analyzes.   It judges.   It critiques.   It wonders why those two are together, it comments on the appropriateness of that particular combination of clothing, it frets over my bills, and plans for the future things I desperately need to get done.   

The Tantric teachings remind us that we are one with our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.   But, it also cautions us that our true nature is the awareness behind those thoughts, feelings, and emotions.   In other words, you and I were told a lot about the world as children.  We also had a lot of experiences that created belief systems about how the world works or the way the world works.   This is what Psychologists affectionately call your “ego.”   The ego is your story.   It’s your collection of beliefs that define who you are and what you hold true.   The good news is that your ego has a purpose – it keeps you grounded in a unique sense of identity.   Those that don’t have healthy ego identities can be flighty and seem to live in the stars.   As a yogi, I have plenty of friends that sleep with crystals and feel the ‘vibrations’ of the room.  They also have trouble just being in this here and now and doing things like paying bills.  Some ego is healthy.  The bad news is that most people confuse their ego with their true (or essential) nature, which is the non-judgemental, present-moment awareness in which looks out of ‘your’ eyes, tastes with ‘your’ mouth, kisses with ‘your’ lips, etc.   If that hurts your brain, then let’s make it easy.

You are awareness.  You are not your story.   Awareness is right now.   As you sit here and look at these words.  This moment.   This is you – assuming you aren’t judging or analyzing too much.  Awareness is being.  Your ‘story’ can confuse and disrupt your experience of life.  This is because we have been hurt, we have been betrayed, we have seen loss, etc.   And, our story-brain-ego creates all kinds of thoughts that keep the story going.   The ego is like a thing living inside you, and it is very sensitive, very fragile, very willful, and definitely has a fear of abandonment.   This is why after 50 minutes of yoga or any other mind-less activity, your brain cannot wait to send you straight back to your to-do lists, your need-to-do’s, or your should-have-done’s.   The ego has a HUGE fear that someday you’ll figure it out and the gig will be up.   The ego wants to exist. 

So, here’s your challenge… start to observe your thoughts.   Start to pay attention to what you think.   Ask yourself when you have a thought, “Where does this come from?  Is this true?  What belief generated this thought?  And, where did that belief come from?  Is that belief true?.”  You don’t have to abandon your poor little ego.   But, you don’t have to let the ego run the show either.  

Rumi said, “You are not just a drop in the ocean. You are the mighty ocean in the drop.”  

Your brain is 90% water and fat.   About 7% of that which remains is made of minerals that you could buy at the hardware store for about $5 bucks.   So, 97% of your brain is just some ‘stuff’ that doesn’t really do anything, see anything, feel anything.   Your brain is just a thing that responds to heat, pH, hormones, etc.  Your ‘sense-making-ness’ or awareness is what tells your brain what to do.   You are not your brain.   You are not your ego (which is created by the brain).   You are the awareness (this present moment) using your brain and using your ego to give it a role in the “play of life.”

  
The trick, in life, is to NOT create a role in the “play of life” that you don’t really like or don’t really want to play.   And, for those of us on the path, the real secret is even more scary: you are NOT just creating a character in the play… you are creating the entire play itself.      

The universe exists inside you – it is experiencing itself through you, as you.   Your life is only limited by what you believe.   For those of us still in illusion, we cannot move beyond it while still a puppet of our experience (ego-mind).   Take the reins.   Guide that horse.  The river has a source.   It flows freely.    The river does not ask to be directed.    Recognize your truth and know that you are capable of having the life you dreamed of having.   Be the hero of your own story.  

Now is the time for us to heal.   Now is the time for us to return to our Essential nature.   Find that pause within yourself – that moment of awareness.   Hold it.   And, then move from that place, questioning everything in between.

Life is a journey.   Enjoy the ride.          

Namaste,

Ryan

Dr. Ryan Pride is the owner of the Moksha Institute, a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.   A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Institute applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.  

For more information, please go to: www.mokshainstitute.com