A Dumb Moment - of Perfect Clarity

Recently, I was reading a blog post by a spiritual writer that I follow, and he posed this question, which I thought to be silly – and at the same time, informing.   He asked: “What is the distance between yourself and your screen?”  I answered, “Hmm.   About 1 foot.”   He then asked:  “What is the distance between yourself and that thought?”  I paused.   What kind of ridiculous question was that?  I paused.   I thought about it.  I thought about it.   I thought about it some more.   What?  What the hell is he asking?  But, there was a moment in between, where I sat there with a dumb look on my face in some strange space of nothingness.   He then wrote: “Congratulations.   You just experienced a millisecond of awareness – the space between thought forms.”

My mind runs like the commentators of Mystery Science Theater.    It doesn’t stop.   It analyzes.   It judges.   It critiques.   It wonders why those two are together, it comments on the appropriateness of that particular combination of clothing, it frets over my bills, and plans for the future things I desperately need to get done.   

The Tantric teachings remind us that we are one with our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.   But, it also cautions us that our true nature is the awareness behind those thoughts, feelings, and emotions.   In other words, you and I were told a lot about the world as children.  We also had a lot of experiences that created belief systems about how the world works or the way the world works.   This is what Psychologists affectionately call your “ego.”   The ego is your story.   It’s your collection of beliefs that define who you are and what you hold true.   The good news is that your ego has a purpose – it keeps you grounded in a unique sense of identity.   Those that don’t have healthy ego identities can be flighty and seem to live in the stars.   As a yogi, I have plenty of friends that sleep with crystals and feel the ‘vibrations’ of the room.  They also have trouble just being in this here and now and doing things like paying bills.  Some ego is healthy.  The bad news is that most people confuse their ego with their true (or essential) nature, which is the non-judgemental, present-moment awareness in which looks out of ‘your’ eyes, tastes with ‘your’ mouth, kisses with ‘your’ lips, etc.   If that hurts your brain, then let’s make it easy.

You are awareness.  You are not your story.   Awareness is right now.   As you sit here and look at these words.  This moment.   This is you – assuming you aren’t judging or analyzing too much.  Awareness is being.  Your ‘story’ can confuse and disrupt your experience of life.  This is because we have been hurt, we have been betrayed, we have seen loss, etc.   And, our story-brain-ego creates all kinds of thoughts that keep the story going.   The ego is like a thing living inside you, and it is very sensitive, very fragile, very willful, and definitely has a fear of abandonment.   This is why after 50 minutes of yoga or any other mind-less activity, your brain cannot wait to send you straight back to your to-do lists, your need-to-do’s, or your should-have-done’s.   The ego has a HUGE fear that someday you’ll figure it out and the gig will be up.   The ego wants to exist. 

So, here’s your challenge… start to observe your thoughts.   Start to pay attention to what you think.   Ask yourself when you have a thought, “Where does this come from?  Is this true?  What belief generated this thought?  And, where did that belief come from?  Is that belief true?.”  You don’t have to abandon your poor little ego.   But, you don’t have to let the ego run the show either.  

Rumi said, “You are not just a drop in the ocean. You are the mighty ocean in the drop.”  

Your brain is 90% water and fat.   About 7% of that which remains is made of minerals that you could buy at the hardware store for about $5 bucks.   So, 97% of your brain is just some ‘stuff’ that doesn’t really do anything, see anything, feel anything.   Your brain is just a thing that responds to heat, pH, hormones, etc.  Your ‘sense-making-ness’ or awareness is what tells your brain what to do.   You are not your brain.   You are not your ego (which is created by the brain).   You are the awareness (this present moment) using your brain and using your ego to give it a role in the “play of life.”

  
The trick, in life, is to NOT create a role in the “play of life” that you don’t really like or don’t really want to play.   And, for those of us on the path, the real secret is even more scary: you are NOT just creating a character in the play… you are creating the entire play itself.      

The universe exists inside you – it is experiencing itself through you, as you.   Your life is only limited by what you believe.   For those of us still in illusion, we cannot move beyond it while still a puppet of our experience (ego-mind).   Take the reins.   Guide that horse.  The river has a source.   It flows freely.    The river does not ask to be directed.    Recognize your truth and know that you are capable of having the life you dreamed of having.   Be the hero of your own story.  

Now is the time for us to heal.   Now is the time for us to return to our Essential nature.   Find that pause within yourself – that moment of awareness.   Hold it.   And, then move from that place, questioning everything in between.

Life is a journey.   Enjoy the ride.          

Namaste,

Ryan

Dr. Ryan Pride is the owner of the Moksha Institute, a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.   A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Institute applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.  

For more information, please go to: www.mokshainstitute.com

An Authenticity Movement

All good revivals start with a little doom and gloom.  Sorry.  But, I need you to hear this:  

 

We are starving for meaning.   All around us is a sea of inauthenticity.   People show up to work as someone they are supposed to be and pretend to care about a company to which they are dedicating their soul’s time.  Our “reality” TV is staged and edited to be entertaining.   Most of the food we eat is made of gluten.  What is real anymore?

We live in a world that has been stripped of substance.   We bypass pain as quickly as possible.   We cope with our day through mindless television.  We work to secure our securities.  And, we work so hard.  

We relish in the tiny moments in between when we get to go on vacation and ‘check out’ of our lives for a spell.  

We hug less often.   Eye contact has become difficult for us.   Meaningful conversations about real things – you know, those “deep” things are just too heavy.  

We are allowed to have some discourse or politically correct disagreements about politics, but in all my time in corporate America, I was never asked about the meaning of life at the water cooler.    

Somewhere along the way, the human experience has been numbed in the Novocain of conformity and idealism – but an idealism that has been sold to us through marketing, rather than what feels right in our hearts.  

But, the “big questions” don’t go away.   Instead they sit quietly waiting.   Our soul is patient, resilient, and tenacious. 

So… we cope with our world.  We check out.  We pass by.   We dissolve into routine.  We wait.   Maybe when it’s over, it will get better?  Heaven is waiting on us, right?

I think it’s time for an authenticity movement.  

 

Forget the badge you wear announcing your employment position.   Who are you?  What is the fabric of your soul?  What do you want deeply inside your being?  What do you dream about late at night?  

When is the last time you danced?  Or laughed so hard it hurt? How long has it been since you have tasted that moment when the world slows into the movie reel of perfection – when you look around you and you see the purity of joy, the warmth of love, the smiles of friends, or the laughter of children.  

When is the last time you fell on your face chasing something you believed in?  Or said what was on your mind, rather than what you were supposed to say? 

You are not your job.   You are not your social role.   You are not your position in life.   You are a thriving beacon of love and hope and joy and desire to BE what you are.   A rose is not interested in being a tulip, because she lives in a tulip field.   She is a rose.  

How about we FEEL again?

• to feel intense pain – to move into the center of our own sorrow and be real with it… to acknowledge it.  
• to feel genuine gratitude – for our blessings, our health, our children, our loved ones … to really, really sit in the space of sublime grateful thinking
• to feel loved – to let ourselves be cherished, appreciated, respected… to honor all the goodness within ourselves
• to be touched and to touch one another… to feel the wrinkles and softness in our grandmother’s hands, the aching tenderness of our mother’s hugs, the unbridled squeeze of our children’s cheeks  against our faces…

We have all been hurt.   We should be hurt when we are hurt.  

We have all been in love.   We should announce it to the world when we feel it.

We have passionate feelings about life, religion, and politics.   We should share them openly and respectfully.
We hate our jobs.   Or, we love them.   If we hate them, we should leave them.  If we love them, we should rejoice in them.  

We either live on the razor’s edge of life or we shrivel in the fear of future pain.  

Today, you are human.  You have the greatest gift the universe has ever created – to be alive and to know it.  Use this gift.  Hug a stranger.   Have a conversation with that homeless guy.  Smile at the person making your lunch.   Ask her a question about her life.   Skip.  Skip in the street.   Take in the beauty of a tree.   Breathe in life.   Breathe.   Wiggle your toes.   Smile.   Truly understand the unbelievable goodness of ice cream – what an amazing human creation!

I don’t want to know your story.   I don’t care to share mine.   This is my soul.  I am a sappy romantic.  I am a dreamer.   I am an idealist.   I am a contrarian in order to be contrary.  I am in love with love.  I am playful.  I am capable of being selfish, greedy, protective, defensive, and scared.   I am light and I am shadow.   

I am beautifully human, flawed perfectly.  

And, so are you.  

I can sit alone with myself now.   And, I like the company I am keeping.   Do you?  Can you?

I love you all.  Go be yourself today.  Be authentic.   Be real.   Say what you mean.  Share what you think you are not supposed to share.   Bravely love a stranger.   Remove your invisible personal space boundaries.   Tell your partner something that scares you.   Wake up!  You are alive.   And, as my friend Tim would say… “It’s awesome.”

Namaste,

Ryan

Dr. Ryan Pride is the owner of the Moksha Institute, a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.   A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Institute applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.  
For more information, please go to: www.mokshainstitute.com

 

 

Why am I doing this?

My body hurts.  It hurts now more than it did before I started yoga.  Apparently, I have a curvy spine.  And, a small sacrum.   Which, sounds bad to say out loud about myself, really.   Not many men would openly say this about themselves.   But, like most men, I didn’t even know what a sacrum was a year ago. 

Why am I doing this again?

I think this to myself all the time.   I think about this, and I think about the bills I need to pay.  I consider my next consulting project or speech.   I worry over the selling of my house.   I remind myself of the household duties that need more than just a good considering, but an actual cleaning or filing away.   I regret a reaction I had. 

And, then I step into yoga.   And, I stop thinking.   There is not a past.   There is not a future.   The only thing that exists between myself and this moment is my mind.   And, my mind is too busy reminding my body to breathe, move, hold, twist, or undulate.   Or feel burning.  

Our minds, the Taoists will say, are like monkeys – jumping all around in an imaginary playground of either the past or the future or the analytical now.   My mind is more like a yappy Jack Russell, I am convinced.  But the theory is all the same.   We spend a lot of time in the imaginary future that hasn’t happened.   Or we spend it in a regretful past that we cannot control.  

Sometimes, when I am meditating and my mind is monkeying around – attending to all the things I need to do or worry about, I mentally slap myself and get to the now.   I say, “that’s it.  stop.  stop all this noise!  Count to 20.”  And, then I do.   I look around.   I breathe.   I focus inward.   I count to 20.   And, while I am counting, I hear, “why are you counting?  what are you doing?  do realize that you are sitting here counting,” and I reply, “shut up. be quiet.  and count.”  And, then I do.   I count.   Somewhere along the way, the counting steps into the background and awareness emerges and takes the wheel.  

In this moment, I see everything.   The Jack Russell has stopped yapping.  I smile.  I sit in the full awareness of my soul – as my soul.   I am connected to everything.   I stand in this moment knowing that I am fully alive.  I feel peace.   And, I start to move through my world.

Ten minutes later I find myself in some imaginary future thinking about the things I need to do or worry about – the groceries  I need to buy, the upcoming event for my daughter that I need to put on the calendar.  

It’s hard to be aware and awake if you are TRYING to be aware and awake.   That’s because you are working at it.   And, that means you are engaging the mind.   See, in theory, Consciousness uses the mind like a tool.  And, when we are not awake, we are being used by the mind as a tool. 

Absolute awareness is a quiet observer.   It is not active, but is passive.   It cannot be called into being by the wants of the mind.   It exists now and always.   It is always available, but only available in stillness.   Awareness is more like a docile Lab.   

Yoga, on some level, is like counting to 20.   I remind myself to breathe.  I analyze the burning of my thighs.   I postulate how many minutes are left in the class.  Then, at some point, I stop all that mental quibbling.   And, I breathe.   I move.   I flow.   I am the Universe and all is possible in this beautiful dance with life and the perfect now. 

So… why am I doing this?  To train myself.   To train myself to spend a little more time with my true nature.   To remind my mental Jack Russell who is in charge – that relaxed, but clear eyed Labrador.    

We are all beautiful.   There is abundance everywhere.   Someone is not plotting against you or thinking bad things about you.   You didn’t say the wrong thing earlier today.   The things you fear have not happened and are not happening right now.  

So, practice finding yourself.   Find yourself any way you want.  Stop thinking about the future.   Stop thinking about the past.  Feel right now.  

Or, just count to 20 and let me know how it goes. 

Namaste! 

Ryan

 

Dr. Ryan Pride is the owner of the Moksha Institute, a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.   A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Institute applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.  

For more information, please go to: www.mokshainstitute.com

 

Get to Work!

Almost a year ago now, I left corporate America.   I was the Vice President of Human Resources for two of the largest furniture companies in the world.   I was being groomed to be an SVP of Human Resources.   I had health insurance, a ‘designer’ dog that cost at least one paycheck, and a small estate in one of the most prestigious neighborhoods in Saint Louis.  The interior of my house looked like a copy of House Beautiful and my car had heated leather seats.   I was living the American dream.     

Since then, like clockwork, my mother asks me at least once a week when I am going to “get to work.”

I thought it best to address, then, my latest work, so she doesn’t worry so much.

Lately, I have been asking people the question, “Are you happy?”  And, I have learned something about how people answer that question.  

When I asked some of my friends who are working, making great money, and “living the dream,” the answer is explanatory.   They say something like the following:

“Well, I suppose it depends on how you define happiness.  I mean, what does ‘happiness’ mean?  I have everything I want.   I like my job.   I take vacations when I want.   I enjoy my kids.   Hmmmm.     Yeah.  I guess I am happy.  I mean, it depends what you mean, right? I have moments when I am frustrated for sure.   I wish I had more time.  I wish I got along better with my partner.   I wish work wasn’t so crazy and rushed all the time.   I wish …”   

I also have a few friends who live ‘alternative’ lifestyles… those who have traded a nicer car for one that simply runs.   These friends have homes where dinner parties take place on the floor with a plate in hand, rather than on a dining room table.    When I ask them this question, the answer is always the same.   “Are you happy?”  

“Yes,” they reply. “Yes, I am happy.”

Today, I no longer work in corporate America, I don’t have health insurance (yet), I lost the dog in the divorce, and I am selling my house, because I cannot afford the mortgage.  This sounds bad, right?  But, one year ago, if you asked me if I was happy, I would have given you a long explanation to a short question.  

Today… my answer would be a very simple “yes.”  

Now, cue dramatic music…

The state of our world is in crisis on almost every measurable scale.  We are running out of oil, minerals, usable farmland, and even water.   We have 7 billion people on our planet and that number will double in my lifetime.   We are in the middle of a mass species extinction, which has been noted by biologists on every continent.   We are losing an average of 137 species every single day.   Over 50% of our existing plant life and the source for 90% of our medicines in existence today will be gone before I die.  Our food supply is made of less “food” than filler (check those labels on the back of the product).  We are quite literally poisoning our air, land, and sea – and our bodies.   

Sorry for the sour turn there, but an acknowledgement of ‘what is’ and acceptance of truth is the first step of any transformational process that has ever been – whether it’s the 12 step program or yoga or psychotherapy.  

Our Mother Earth is not well.   She is pretty darn sick.   And, the dis-ease that she is feeling is felt through everything and every person.   Our economy is failing.  Surveys of Happiness show that we are more unhappy as a country than we have ever been - EVER.   This is not coincidence.  Everything is connected.  This truth has been known and written in all the ancient Spiritual texts.   Our best science – that of quantum physics – has proven this many times over.   Everything is connected. 

What does this mean? For me, it means looking at “my truth,” acknowledging it, and doing something about it.  

The question is this:  “Is this a world that I want to live in?  Is this a world I want my daughter to inherit?”

The answer for me: “No.”  

The next question then is “What do I want to do about it?”

In my past, I would have suggested sweeping changes to legislation.  I would have railed on the corruption of government.  I would have slapped the water bottle out of your hand and educated you on the commoditization of water and the waste of resources required to make that single bottle of water.  

As Einstein said, though, we cannot change any problem with the same thinking that created it.   And, fighting fire with fire only makes a bigger fire. 

As Martin Luther King said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction....The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars --must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.”

The world does not need more activism.   The world needs more love.   It needs peace.   It needs teachers to demonstrate a new way to live through a new vibration.  

The best of our science has proven that we are all connected.   Every thought and every belief we hold creates a frequency that we broadcast like a radio station.  The only way that we will change the music is to change ourselves.   

After leaving corporate America, I immersed myself in myself.  I took a sabbatical from life and absorbed myself in the readings of the Ancient truths found in the sacred doctrines – that you, too, may find in your spiritual book of choosing.   I began a daily practice of yoga and started to observe my own thoughts.   I began to meditate.  I began to write again.  I began to feel again.    

For me, I realize that what we are doing as a society is not working.  And, if I choose to get up, go to work, and help produce more sofas, I do not change anything.   I may live in a better house or drive a nicer car, but at what expense?  My daughter will be the one to inherit a very sick world and perhaps worse, an unhappy dad. 

Happiness exists inside of us.   It is felt when we come into alignment with ourselves.  And, when I am unhappy, I impact not just myself, but you too.  

I can no longer pretend to be someone that I am not in the name of having “things” that I don’t really care to have.   For me, this is my truth.   This is my heart song.   Today, my vibration has changed.  

This time period is critical.   We are at a tipping point.   What you can do now is to live your purpose.   Live your truth.   Give love.   Live from your heart.   Be authentic.   Be honest.   Move toward your vibration.   Dance to your rhythm rather than the expectations of others.  

When you open yourself to yourself, you open to your inner Divinity, and God will flow into you and pave the way.   Grace will come swiftly and free you from guilt, resent, regret…  You will stand confident in your truth and in the warmth of self-love.   This will enable you to see with different eyes and the world will literally change right in front of you. 

Be the change you want to see.   Change the world, by changing yourself.  

SO… As my mom would say:  Get to work!  

Namaste,
Ryan

Dr. Ryan Pride is the owner of the Moksha Institute, a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.   A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Institute applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.  

For more information, please go to: www.mokshainstitute.com
 

Thought Habits

My ex relationship had a borderline personality disorder and was abusive.  All who know and love me have heard me tell many stories about my abusive marriage.  My scars have been shown.  I have been adorned with lamentations… “How did you do it?” … “I don’t know how you still function and are healthy?” … “You poor thing.  She was so cruel.”

I used to re-read all of ex relationship's texts.  I read them in a state of disbelief.   I hurt each time I read it.   I forwarded them to others.  I told my friends about them.   They were the weekly soap opera of entertainment for my soul circle.  Why?  What was the purpose?  Why do this to myself?

When I answered this question, I said that I needed social support.   “It is healthy for me to talk about this.  Wow, isn’t it amazing that she still is this crazy… that she still spends so much time and energy trying to tear me down after 5 years? Can you believe this?”

But when I got real with myself, and I had moments of Grace, I realized that the better question was “Why do I keep the story going?”

Why?  I wanted to continue the story of being a victim.  I saw myself as damaged.   I was the broken-winged bird.    

And, with these thoughts I manifested so many experiences to remind me that I was broken.   I found a healer to nurture me back to health with soups and candles.  I sought friendships from those who wanted to steer me and ‘take care’ of me.   And, they did.   I enjoyed the best soups.   I had so many loving friends give wonderful care to me.   I was nurtured. 

My reward: I got to continue to be miserable.  Nurtured, well-loved, and miserable.   Because at the end of the day, 'victim' thinking is not empowering - it is miserable. 

Our thoughts create our experiences.   We manifest the mirror of our self concept.   We become our self talk and our self story. 

Our beliefs reflect back to us again and again and again as experiences and relationships until we know that we are creating what we see and what we experience.  We have to learn this lesson.   The only way to learn the lesson is through trial and error and trial again.  

The cycle is a closed loop.   It reinforces itself.   You have a belief.   You attract experiences based on this belief.   The belief is reinforced.   Our belief becomes truth and truth is reinforced over and over again.  

Until it doesn’t.    Until one day you wake up and see your own image.   You see your reflection.  

Seeing your own image is enlightenment. 

Enlightenment is not eternal bliss.  It is not euphoria.  It is not a place out-of-time or ever-after.   It is not a place outside of this world or outside of you.  It exists right now and within you.  It exists as an “aha,” or “oh, that’s what I have been believing?” moment.  It is the knowing that that you are the thinker and that your world will be what you believe it to be. 

The real truth?  There is a tiny rope holding your leg.   It has been there since you were young.   It is twined in the fabric of your beliefs and your experiences.   But, you are an elephant.   And, at any moment, you can choose to simply move… to break free of this bond.   This rope cannot hold your strength if you choose to snap the bond.  

You are what you believe yourself to be.   You are your thought habits.   Change your thought habits and change your life! 

Practice:

Presence is so important.   When you are present, you are not a victim to your story.   You are creating your experiences in the endless potential of “the now.”

The best tool for presence is your breath. 

Therefore, today the practice will focus on breath work and identifying a victim belief that you hold. 

Time: 15 minutes  

• In a moment (after reading this), close your eyes.
• Breathe in and out for 5 minutes (focus on keeping your inhale and exhale the same count)
• Picture yourself in the mirror.   Do not analyze or critique yourself.   The image in the mirror is your soul image and is perfect.   You are going to ask your soul image three questions.   The soul image ALWAYS knows the answers to your questions. 
• Pause.  Breathe in.   Breathe out.  Ask your first question: “What is a belief I hold about myself that is holding me back?” Wait on the answer.  It will usually come quickly and can be recognized by your immediate thoughts.  
• Next question: “How is this belief serving me?”  Wait on the answer. 
• FInal question: “Why do I keep it?”  Wait on the answer.
• Breathe in and out for 5 minutes (focusing on keeping your inhale and exhale the same)
• Write about what you experienced and how you could apply a new practice/habit in your life supporting a more empowering belief about yourself (to replace the old belief).  

Love to all.  Namaste.

Ryan

Dr. Ryan Pride is the owner of the Moksha Institute, a firm dedicated to improving the wellbeing of individuals, teams, and organizations through culture transformation and leadership development.   A profit-for-purpose company, the Moksha Institute applies Ancient Teachings for the Modern Time in order to transform striving into thriving.  

For more information, please go to: www.mokshainstitute.com